Perfectionism is the enemy of progress.

We all want to be perfect. Literally every last one of us. We might use different words to describe it, but in some area of our lives we seek for a flawless presentation.

It could be our performance at work, relationships, our body, our eating, etc. Wherever it presents it takes precedence. Our desire to be seen as perfect, or flawless, is innate to the human experience. It doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong, that that you are a bad person. It means that you seek connection.

Our desire to be seen as without fault, is rooted deeply in our desire to connect with others. If “they” think I’m worthy, “they” will stay.

This often shows up in how we present our bodies to the world. Because somewhere along the way many of us learn the same lesson: “I can control my body.”.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. We have next to know control over what our body does. I can tell my arms to move, but I can’t tell my body to produce more estrogen or less testosterone. I cannot tell my body to grow blonde hair just because I’m feeling it that day. I cannot think my way into diabetes, and I surely can’t think my way out of multiple sclerosis.

Our thought life (our self-talk) has a lot of power. It is indicative of our core beliefs about ourselves and the world. But it cannot change our physical presentation. No matter how hard I think, I cannot become a Latina woman by sunset.

You are not what you eat.

So with that, let us dig a little deeper into our relationship with food.

What you eat does not change who you are.

What you eat does not change who you are. Click To Tweet

Let that sink. Like, really sink in.

I am not what I eat. I have plenty of kale (because I sincerely enjoy kale), but I have yet to wake up as a stalk of kale. I drink my fair share of coffee, still haven’t turned into a roasted coffee bean. But if I did, I’d be a light roast Costa Rican bean, because I’m a smooth operator.

Your virtue does not come from what you eat.

Clean eating will not save you. It won’t make you a better person. It won’t get you spiritual brownie points. And it most certainly won’t protect you from death. You are guaranteed death in this lifetime. And that’s an actual factual fact.

The idea that what I eat can change me fundamentally is based in the idea of receiving virtue by action.

Virtue can sound lofty and religious. Even if you do not practice an organized religion it’s woven into the fabric of our society. The idea that doing something (an external force) makes a better person, whether or not we change anything on the inside (internal force).

This is can look like: I began eating healthier, my body image improved, my relationships with those I care about improved, I got a raise at work, and now I’m dating the person of my dreams.

That is a fantasy, but it’s so often marketed to us that we can forget that crucial fact. An * insert social media platform * influencer’s sole job is to market to us as the culmination of what we desire to be. Our “fit” self, our “self-actualized self”, our “spiritual” self, etc. The entire idea of an influencer is predicated on the idea that I will follow and mimic the person I believe has what I want, or is who I desire to be.

Food for Thought

Let’s take our favorite fitness instagram person. They post selfies in the gym, after a hard session. They show you the protein shakes and perfectly portions meals. What you don’t see is their social life. Do they have social life? Do they allow themselves to have a cake at a birthday party? Can they skip a day at the gym and still feel like they had a good day?

How about your favorite food blogger? Overflowing purple and blue smoothies are aesthetically pleasing (and also wasteful…). Oatmeal bowls with heaps of fresh fruit and nut butter. But what about what we don’t see, can they go through a drive-thru and order fries because they sound good? Are they checking the ingredients label on ketchup to make sure it’s “clean”? Are they only allowed desserts that have been “healthified”? I ask you think about this because on the outside both of those peoples curated social media presence may look next to perfect. But they, just like you, are human. We are not perfect. Not a single one of us. No matter how hard we try, no matter how much experience or knowledge we obtain, we will never be perfect.

That is a bitter and uncomfortable fact to sit with. But I challenge you to sit with it. It will feel uncomfortable. You may question what is the point of it all if I can’t obtain this? It may take a while for this to really become a truth for you. You may also make peace with it, and still find yourself striving. It’s innate to being a human.

It’s a truth I revisit time and again. Perfect gets in the way of progress.

Once we really flesh out what this means for our life, it makes letting go of dieting and attempting to control our body that much easier.

This one truth will be worked through many times in the course of your life. As you move in and out of seasons, and roles, and relationships.

Reflection

So as you think about your next meal, I want you to ask yourself: Would I still be eating this, if I knew that no one cared what I was eating? Would I still be eating this, if I knew that this one meal wouldn’t change my physical presentation? Would I still be eating this if I knew my weight wouldn’t change?

This is the introspection that I would like you have as you examine your relationship with food. Non-judgmental, non-critical. What you eat is up to you. You know your body better than anyone on this earth. Even I, as a registered dietitian, cannot tell you exactly what to eat. I can guide you to figuring out what works best for your body, but I will never actually experience how your body responds to what you eat.

Know that your value as a person does not come from the way you look, or a number on the scale. Your value is internal and unchanging.

My final question for you is this: What are you actually hungry for?

Today is the best day to change your life!