Now that you know how to tell if you’re physically hungry, what about the feelings attached to it?

If you’re reading this you’ve likely been working on your relationship with food. When you get hungry, more than just thoughts about food come up.

Feelings of shame, anxiety, anger, and fear may all arise with a growling stomach.

Shame at feeling hungry yet again, because you want nothing more than to stop feeling hunger. Anxiety at what to eat, how much to eat, if you can control yourself. Fear of responding, fear of not responding. All of this and so much more can come up each time you start thinking about food, or your stomach gurgles with emptiness.

Feelings of accomplishment or pride may also be intertwined.

Radical Acceptance

Acknowledge and accept the fact that you’re hungry. Accept each of the emotions that come up with it. They are all there to teach you something.

Don’t seek to change the emotions just yet, let them be. Question how they became attached to hunger.

For many years I would get so angry that I was hungry. I wanted to not experience hunger. If I didn’t experience it, it meant that I didn’t have to eat. I could stay numb. When I was sick, I found pride in being hungry. I felt a sense of superiority that I could deny my body it’s basic needs and still “function”. I was existing.

As I began the work of rejecting the diet mentality, I became apparent that I needed to honor the emotions that came with hunger. This meant letting these feelings rise and make themselves known, and accepting them (and myself) as they were.

Non-Judgmental

The other critical piece of Radical Acceptance is being non-judgmental. As these feelings arise its crucial to look at them neutrally. That self-judgment will only stand in the way of moving forward towards a place of neutrality.

Whether is fear or pride. Let whatever you feel have the space it needs, it may wash over you, but it won’t stay forever. This is where we ask, how did these two become connected.

We ask this from a curious place, not from judgment or harshness. Childlike wonder if you will.

Unhelpful Though	Neutral Statement	Positive Statement
I’m hungry again, and I just don’t want to deal with it.	My body is letting me know that it needs more fuel. I can honor that.	I am grateful that I am aware of my body’s need and can honor them.
I know I’m hungry, but I need to finish this right now, then I’m allowed to eat.	My body is letting me know that I need more fuel to keep working.	I am grateful that I can fuel my body to keep doing work that I enjoy.
I just don’t want to feel hungry.	I acknowledge that this feeling is uncomfortable. My body still needs fuel.	I have this opportunity honor my body and respond to its needs.

You will get hungry again, today even. The next time that happens ask yourself what you are feeling. Write it down, or make a note in your phone. After you’ve satisfied your hunger, you can dig into why that feeling came up. Was it fear of your body changing? What is shame from taking up space? Shame because someone else said you were a burden? Again, look at this with the curiosity of a child just learning to walk. They may fall, time and again, but they get back up and keep seeing the world from a new perspective.

This one is tough. I know that. It was tough for me. So much shame, anger, and sadness was wrapped up in the emptiness of my stomach. All of which deserved my attention. This is not an overnight process, and you may need some outside help. I recommend talking with a therapist or someone you trust as you work though this.

It is okay to be hungry. It is okay to feel angry or sad or whatever you feel about that. Being hungry in our society has become something that needs to be fixed without actually feeding yourself. Know that I have so much compassion for you as you work through these feelings.

Today is the best day to change your life!