I want to capture these emotions just as they are. Not sure where we’ll end up, but… Here we go!
It’s the night before my exit interview. I feel pretty anxious but it’s manageable. I have both transcripts that I need, all the forms I need and apparently I crossed all my t’s and dotted all my i’s.
I don’t think it feels real that I by this time tomorrow I’ll be Registered Dietitian Eligible. I still can’t believe I’m finished. I have one last form to get signed, so I’m going on a road trip in the morning to get it signed.
Hopes
I’m currently laying in my friend’s bed, with her dog Riley, and it’s the sweetest and most comforting thing at this moment. I’m still just in disbelief. I’m taking a practice board exam tomorrow so let’s all hope I pass… But it’s weird to think my time in Oklahoma is coming to an end. I feel like I just moved here. I never saw myself living here, or even visiting. Yet, somehow it’s found a place in my heart. It’s not quite home, but some of the people are.
I’m excited. For the first time in quite a while. I’m excited. I’m excited about life, and adventure, and cooking, and exploring. I’m excited to create my own routine, and create the life I’ve always imagined. I’m excited to settle down, and take root. I just can’t wait to sit in coffee shops, doing life with people I care about.
Fears
I feel so many things that I can’t quite figure them all out. I feel at ease because I’m moving back somewhere familiar. But that’s also opposite of the pattern in my life so far. I feel on edge because I haven’t enrolled in classes. I’ve enrolled in classes every year for a whiiiileee, so it’s a little confusing to not have a syllabus to read or textbooks to get. I’m applying for my post-grad job. I’m not sure how I feel about that. There’s just so much unknown. I’m decorating my entire apartment for the first time, including furniture.
All of this change, and I’m still pretty calm. I got pretty worried that my transcript wouldn’t get to me in time, but I didn’t freak out. I got worried about a log that I missed place (pretty sure it’s in my closet in Dallas…). But I came up with a plan, and it’s going to work out.
I can honestly say that if I got nothing out of the last 8 months and 1200 hours of my life, it was managing anxiety. Even when it seems like it’s all falling apart just keep breathing. Just keep going, you can’t stop here. Then you’ll never know how it ended. So I’ve gotten that off my chest. I feel more calm, and I need to go to bed, if I plan to get up and on the road by 6:30 am. I hope this helps you, and brings you encouragement in some way.
Today is the best day to change your life!